Exhausted...

Posted 18/07/2026

This will be the fifth day in a row I'll be working, and my god, is my body already starting to feel the aftereffects of standing for hours at a time.

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Honestly, I'm not looking forward to going to work later on today, because I'll probably end up making yet another careless mistake like yesterday and get rightfully scolded for it. Of course, I know I just have to lock in and pull through until 10 P.M, especially since from Saturday evening onwards, I'll finally be free, but man, is the capitalist lifestyle hard. Why, I truly have no idea how people can consistently work longer than 8 hours per day, because even though I'm grateful to have an excuse to be out of the house (so I can avoid being around my dumbass sister, her overstimulating son, the company she keeps, and our enabling mother for long, extended periods of time), I feel like I'm constantly drowning under the weight of the expectations people have for me and this added pressure to do well or risk potentially getting fired.

It also doesn't help my dad has yet to reimburse me my 500 CAD. Even though my mom had already proceeded to give me the 500 CAD back during Tuesday, the whole injustice of him promising to pay me back, yet conveniently not following through on his initial promise of paying me back last Saturday and putting it off until a week later has me super salty. Truly, men who lack integrity piss me off. To make matters worse, I have no idea if he'll even show up with the money later on today... which makes my mom telling me, 'You shouldn't be so angry! He's your father', all the more infuriating. Seriously, I hate the notion that just because somebody is family, I'm automatically obligated to unconditionally lend them financial aid, because my mom has been supporting financially irresponsible family members all her life, only for it to consistently bite her in the ass when she suddenly can't reach a hold of them afterwards.

And unfortunately... now that my older sister has since moved out, my uncle and I are pretty much the only ones who are actually employed. Like, upon getting pregnant at 16, you would think that my younger sister would quit school in order to support her kid full time the way most single mothers would do in the US, but nope, she's apparently allowed to take her son with her to school; in fact, her school conveniently has a daycare and she relies on government funding in order to pay for all the childcare expenses. Meanwhile, the shitty guy who got her pregnant pretty much said he does not want to be a father and fucked off now that she's saddled with an actual kid; therefore, I'm forced to share the same roof as her day in and day out, so as you can see, I really can't catch a break...

Finally returned back from work!

Posted 18/07/2026

And to the surprise of nobody, I discovered dad still hasn't returned back my money! Figures... well, I guess I'll be keeping the 500 CAD mom gave me after all... that is, of course, assuming dad doesn't ever get back to me when I call him on Monday.

Oh, and I'm also heading back to work tomorrow. 🙃 To be honest, I did mention I was free on Sunday if they didn't have enough hands available, but boss ended up taking the bait, causing me to suddenly be shoehorned into the schedule; however, on the bright side, I'll at least have extra tips to look forward to next Friday!

Plot twist of the century...

Posted 19/07/2026

So as I come to find out this morning, my dad actually did return the money; in fact, my mom told me he ended up giving it to her while I was absent yesterday, meaning there's no need for me to return the 500 CAD she lent me on the off chance he doesn't make good on his promise. Of course, I'm relieved to hear this, but on the other hand, going through the 'will he or won't he?' phase for the last two weeks was super stressful, I hope dad doesn't end up asking to borrow money again...

Either way, I'm gonna hop back into the grind later on today! 💪 Maybe once I get back, I'll work on Chapter 10 for Memoirs of a Wild Card: Momotomi Iroha.

UPDATE: Never mind, I was actually allowed to leave work early today (despite only working 2 hours) because I was already working overtime and they didn't want to lose more money because of me. 👀 ...In other words, I'm officially free until Thursday. Lucky me!

Second Skeb request got approved!

Posted 03/08/2026

Honestly, so much ended up happening ever since my last update, but I'm currently over the moon after an artist I've bookmarked for ages on Skeb approved of my request earlier today! Granted, I had to resend this requst because I cancelled the first time around after realizing my initial request contained a broken link, but as luck would have it, I recieved a '[Skeb] Creator demands to resend your request' email notification sometime this morning, prompting me to finally be at ease enough to resend it again. Granted, there was just a space in the broken link, meaning it's still accessible if you copy/paste it without the added space, yet still... considering 2 people on VGen have yet to get back to me after I sent them a request, you could say my anxiety had been through the roof.

Regardless. I'm super excited! Hopefully, I'll recieve this art sometime before the deadline... despite the artist having a 92% complete rate.

Something I've kept secret 😬

Posted 03/08/2026

Of course, I can't really share this on my roleplay blog, because not only would it be considered 'vaguing', people from the animanga sphere will likely know of who I'm talking about, but...

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I honestly never understood how this one female OC from the fandomless OC side of the RPC is constantly being glazed, let alone considered 'attractive', especially with her being so damn ugly. Like, I understand beauty is the eye of the beholder and all that, but everytime the mun posts Skeb art for her, I genuinely feel as if I'm experiencing the 'Boa Hancock' syndrome, due to the fact I quite literally fail to see her appeal and in my opinion, gacha games manage to design way hotter female characters than her... furthermore, this OC isn't even written all that well, to the point where I remain salty the mun managed to amass more comments than me when she did the whole 'reblog this and make a post with 🐻 to let your mutuals comment nice things about you and/or your portrayal on!' meme.

Heck, one of my mutuals even called her OC 'perfect', and the worst part is, I can't even vent about it to anyone else besides Jason and another partner because it's seemingly only me who has issues with her. Like, to this day, I will never forget the time the mun vagued a year old post I made and threw shade over the fact I assumed her OC was a 'homewrecker', when she herself says her OC is inspired by femme fatale tropes and outlined the term she had used for her url meant 'homewrecker' in English on a promo post for her OC that's still up on her blog; in fact, I even have receipts of this being the case, but so many proceeded to side with her... which honestly left a super bitter taste in my mouth. 😒

It's like the mun wants so badly to write a femme fatale character yet can not bring herself to fully commit to the bit, causing her to backtrack as soon as her muse is viewed through a problematic lens... something I can't help but find super cowardly and dishonest. I mean, not everybody has to write a femme fatale character similar to Cordelia from Diabolik Lovers, but man, at least have the nerve to own up to the fact your muse is a homewrecker instead of conveniently just writing out only the parts you like about the femme fatale trope. Or alternatively, maybe don't include 'femme fatale tropes' in your 'a study of' section if you don't intend on including the negative aspects of the femme fatale trope.

To make matters worse, she can jot down a shallow meta post of a few sentences and get notes in the double digits, but when I post a super long, compelling post about Vivian that's deep and thought provoking, I'm lucky enough to have more than one person liking it. Her female OC just isn't interesting to me and I clearly just wanted to interact with her other female OC, yet somehow, she still proceeded to follow me first when she moved this female OC to a single muse blog (that I deliberately avoided following)... only to tell me later on, 'Actually, I prefer interactions where female muses support each other and threads that have a more fantastical feel to them', when Vivian ends up acting hostilely towards her.

Seriously, I kid you not... I literally asked the mun, 'Why did you follow me then?' after she told me this, because one, Vivian is a modern, slice of life oriented character, and two, it's not clear what other reasons she had for following me besides the fact Vivian is a female muse and female muses famously don't get attention-ed in the Tumblr RPC. What finally broke the camel's back, though, was when I sent her a plethora of asks on her multi, only for her to archive it before she could answer any of those and not even be half-assed to follow me on this remade multi to prove she's sincere about wanting to interact with me, causing me to finally unfollow her on the female OC she obviously prioritized more over her other muses; after all, if she can't even manage to stick with her multi, I could no longer trust she'll ever get to any of the previous asks I sent her or the threads we had on the female OC.

Everyone is so far up this mun's ass, though, any criticisms I have towards her and this OC will probably be deemed 'uncalled for'... then again, it has happened before where muns I've previously had beef with got put onto DNIs or been cancelled, meaning maybe more than two people have gripes with her. Still, from what I've seen, lots of people like her, including my own mutuals; therefore, I have to constantly endure them putting this OC of hers onto my dash...